Photo by Jupiter Images

The sun was gleaming. Your groom is beaming. There is a slight breeze as you hear the classical trio play the processional softly.

THEN THE BOTTOM FALLS OUT OF THE SKY AND TRASHES YOUR WEDDING.

What do you do? Well at that point, it’s not really much you can do. But if hindsight was 20/20, what should you have done?

1.) Secured a tent.

2.) Secured a backup location.
I know it may seem like an expensive hassle at the time, but the repercussions are just too great for not doing so. If your wedding is outside, and it begins to rain, let me demystify some of those things that most brides think will happen:

1.) Wedding venues will have your backup location ready to go PRIOR to the wedding should they foresee inclimate weather. They do not however setup your backup location as a mirror image of your outdoor event if begins to rain/sleet/hail during your event so that you can keep on partying like it’s 1999.

2.) Most venues take the force majeure approach to these type of situations– they make the final call to move an event indoors, whether you like or not. This may suck in the meantime, but they still have an obligation to fulfill to you and are doing their best to do so with the situation they have been given.

3.) In addition to the above, I don’t care how many forecasts you have checked– if your reception site says it’s moved in, it’s moved in period. Or you just don’t have your wedding (I have seen this almost happen before). Remember there are other people to consider– elderly guests, children, babies, your bridal party, and your vendors. Your vendors don’t appreciate having their equipment messed up. At all.

4.) Be a good girl scout– Be prepared. Always have a backup. Even though it may be your DREEEAAAMMM to have an outdoor wedding, consider alternate setups for your back up location so that you are happy either way. Try to choose arrangements that will look great in your back up location as well as your outdoor location, that way, nothing will look terribly out of place.

5.) Be sure to discuss these possibilities with the salesperson at your venue. You may also want to have a tent company come out and give you an estimate as well as some ideas.
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Now playing: Fergie – Voodoo Doll
via FoxyTunes

Trash the Dress

Donate the Dress!

After our wedding, I took my disgusting wedding gown to the cleaners to go through the preservation process.  My husband saw the bill and told me I was crazy to spend all that money to keep “some material” in a box in our closet for the rest of our lives.  He insisted that I sell it on Ebay, and I vehemently refused citing the overall failure of men to understand sentimental value.  This was my WEDDING dress, a representation of the most important day in my life, in our lives, I was not about to sell it to username: Bridezilla666 on Ebay!  Didn’t he understand all the memories that were attached to it?

I had an image in my mind that maybe I’d find some reason to wear it again one day.  Maybe I could be a bride for (every single) Halloween (for the rest of my life).  Or maybe I’d find some fantabulous tailor who’d dye it black, and cut it into a cute little cocktail dress?  I also, considered doing some Trash the Dress photos that are the hotness these days.  Any excuse to put the thing on again, right?

So I Googled what to do with my dress, and came up with the best idea thus far, donating my dress to a good cause – The Making Memories Foundation.  Their mission statement is, in part, “to provide an opportunity for metastatic breast cancer patients’ dreams or wishes to be fulfilled by providing a special time of ‘Making Memories’ together with their families, a chance that might not have become a reality without the assistance of the Making Memories Breast Cancer Foundation.”   (Similar to the Make-A-Wish foundation for terminally ill children.)

The foundation has a number of fundraising programs running, one of which is titled Brides Against Breast Cancer.  Brides donate their old gowns to the charity and they are later sold alongside many new gowns, donated by various companies, in cities throughout the U.S.  The proceeds of these sales go toward making a wish come true for a terminally ill breast cancer patient.  Although it involves parting with my beloved wedding dress, the idea that it is going to make another bride so happy makes me so happy, and knowing that it will help in Making Memories for breast cancer patients is just one more sentimental feeling attached to my dress and our big day.

If you’re a wedding junkie like me I’m sure you’ve seen at least some of the wedding shows that are now on nearly every channel. I happen to be a big fan of “Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?” on WETV. Each episode of the show focuses on a planner helping a bride with her wedding from start to finish. After watching tons of episodes it seems to me that the title of the show is not an accurate depiction of what actually happens in the show, i.e. it is clear that all of the great planners on the show understand that it is actually the bride’s big day, not theirs. About a week ago, however, I did stumble upon an episode of another show, “Rich Bride, Poor Bride” that would definitely have done the “Whose Wedding is it Anyway” title justice. It was INSANE.A very pushy planner began by attempting to veto nearly everything the bride told her she wanted during the initial consult. She scoffed at the bride’s desire for a particular type of flower, hemmed and hawed at her color choices, and condescendingly explained to the bride that “nobody who’s anybody has their cake made by anyone other than” this one particular baker the planner used.

DANGER! DANGER!

That is what should be flashing in your head should your initial consult with a planner seems similar to the one above. Not surprisingly, that episode of “Rich Bride, Poor Bride” ended with the bride finally bursting into tears at the florist and telling the planner she felt like she wasn’t allowed to make any decisions at her own wedding. Said outburst, by the way, did not help the planner to see the error of her ways, and she continued to force feed the bride her version of the bride’s dream wedding.

When choosing your planner, make sure that you feel comfortable working with that person right off the bat. If you get the vibe during the initial consult that they are more interested in creating their own vision than helping to realize yours, they’re not the planner for you.

As a matter of fact, make sure ALL your vendors are in it for you and your day. Your wedding is not an excuse for the DJ to perform his own one man stand-up show or for the banquet captain to spend most of the planning process informing you of the manner in which s/he has done things for the past 100 years.

Remember that it’s YOUR day, not theirs. A good vendor, planner or otherwise, will not scoff at your vision or belittle your ideas, but help to find a way to make your day truly YOUR day.

Choosing vendors can be a complicated process. I mean, here you are in the midst of the most important day of your life and you have to entrust it to someone you’ve never met before. It can be pretty harrowing. But, believe it or not, it doesn’t have to be that bad. If everyone agrees to play fair, it can be a very happy and memorable experience.

You should vow to make payments in sickness and in health and for richer or poorer.

You should vow not to turn into a psychopath during the planning process.

You should vow to communicate effectively and professionally.

Your vendors owe you that same amount of respect.

They should vow first and foremost that your wedding is YOUR WEDDING. No changes should occur without your knowledge and or approval. Even if it is “their thing”.

They should vow to perform the services you contract them for, in sickness and in health (or get an adequate replacement), and should perform ONLY their services. You don’t want someone impeding on another vendor’s job or prevent them from doing their job effectively.

They should vow to communicate effectively and professionally; and while their advice is nice to have, it is not the be all and end all of your wedding. Again, see vendor vow number one.

The day is about you and your fiance– not your vendors. It should showcase your personality and love for each other. Likewise, you should be open enough to let your vendors do the jobs they are great at, within the parameters that you have asked them to.

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Now playing: Mariah Carey – One & Only (Feat. Twista)
via FoxyTunes