It’s Actually YOUR Wedding Anyway
If you’re a wedding junkie like me I’m sure you’ve seen at least some of the wedding shows that are now on nearly every channel. I happen to be a big fan of “Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?” on WETV. Each episode of the show focuses on a planner helping a bride with her wedding from start to finish. After watching tons of episodes it seems to me that the title of the show is not an accurate depiction of what actually happens in the show, i.e. it is clear that all of the great planners on the show understand that it is actually the bride’s big day, not theirs. About a week ago, however, I did stumble upon an episode of another show, “Rich Bride, Poor Bride” that would definitely have done the “Whose Wedding is it Anyway” title justice. It was INSANE.A very pushy planner began by attempting to veto nearly everything the bride told her she wanted during the initial consult. She scoffed at the bride’s desire for a particular type of flower, hemmed and hawed at her color choices, and condescendingly explained to the bride that “nobody who’s anybody has their cake made by anyone other than” this one particular baker the planner used.
That is what should be flashing in your head should your initial consult with a planner seems similar to the one above. Not surprisingly, that episode of “Rich Bride, Poor Bride” ended with the bride finally bursting into tears at the florist and telling the planner she felt like she wasn’t allowed to make any decisions at her own wedding. Said outburst, by the way, did not help the planner to see the error of her ways, and she continued to force feed the bride her version of the bride’s dream wedding.
When choosing your planner, make sure that you feel comfortable working with that person right off the bat. If you get the vibe during the initial consult that they are more interested in creating their own vision than helping to realize yours, they’re not the planner for you.
As a matter of fact, make sure ALL your vendors are in it for you and your day. Your wedding is not an excuse for the DJ to perform his own one man stand-up show or for the banquet captain to spend most of the planning process informing you of the manner in which s/he has done things for the past 100 years.
Remember that it’s YOUR day, not theirs. A good vendor, planner or otherwise, will not scoff at your vision or belittle your ideas, but help to find a way to make your day truly YOUR day.