Liene had a fantastic post today about how you can “buy” something that is so untangible, but means the world to someone else. It was awesome and moving. So on this Thanksgiving day, Oprah had a show on about giving. She featured an organization that has been the secret addiction amongst givers called Kiva. Kiva is an organization that allows everyday people like you and me to make a loan to impoverished entrepreneurs in third world countries to start a business that could change the entire dynamic of their lives. A loan as small as $25 can help a business owner feed their family for a month, buy clothes or possibly medicine for their children. What makes the process even more rewarding is that when the loan is paid back, you get a credit in your account which allows you to then give to someone else if you choose. You simply click on a person’s picture– read more about them and their story. If you feel compelled to give, you can do so at your own discretion. Kiva has had a 98% repaid loan rate. That is AMAZING. I just registered and when I clicked on someone I was interested in loaning money to, the site crashed! Their servers were overloaded with other people who are passionate about giving. I challenge you…I DARE you to count your blessings today and bless someone else.

So see– you really can buy happiness.

This year, it’s just me and the kidlets for Thanksgiving. Capt America comes home this weekend, so we won’t be doing the traditional Thanksgiving thing today. All the same, we have so much to be grateful for. We had a beautiful healthy baby this year. My husband is safe and on his way back to me. It’s not a day that goes by that I don’t give thanks for that fact alone, because I know someone else’s husband is not coming home. The company had a FANTASTIC year this year, and I’m looking forward to 2008. I’ve met so many fantastic people who have made an impact on my life, that I feel lin some respects, they have all helped to make me a better person.

So, I was in the car listening to CNN on the way to take the kids to school. Deborah Norville was on talking about “Thank You Power“. I was thining “Wow, that’s something. Never heard of it”. She has written a book on the very subject, which states that people who use “thank you power” are more resilient, patient, and peaceful. Imagine that. So by just being grateful, you can change your whole outlook on life. Sounds simple enough, but so do most choices. Aha, but that’s just it– a conscious decision to change for the better and recognize the good.

Oprah has a new thing I am going to start as well– a gratitude journal. What better way to fully recognize your blessings than to literally count them and and take a moment to recognize them. I would always hear people say “don’t block your blessings”, and I think a good way to make sure that you stay blessed is to get out of your own way. So, by doing this journal, I am hoping that I can give deference to my gratitude.

I hope you have a fantastic Thanksgiving, wherever you are. Enjoy your family, your health, and your life. And enjoy that meal!

I might have pizza tonight.

And I’m grateful I don’t have to cook.

See…I started already.

They tried to make you go to rehab and you won’t go, go, go.

But I just get so confused with couples who come in and say, “We’ve got ten thousand dollars– let’s stretch it to the limit so that all 250 of our guests are eating vienna sausages!”

Say it with enthusiasm, now!

You need balance. You need order. Let’s ponder this, shall we:

• Why have the reception site of your dreams when you don’t have enough money to even scantly decorate it with flowers, linens, candles, etc?
• Why invite two thousand (ok, I’m exaggerating) of your closest family and friends, when you have to serve them the wedding equivalent of a happy meal?
• Why get a really great photographer when you can get someone who charges less and brings airbrushed backgrounds for all of our portraits?

A lot of what I say shows my humor, but a lot of truth is said in jest. It is very okay to be a budget bride. Heck even now, $10,000 is a “budget” wedding–$20,000 is slowly creeping to be the same. It is what you do with that money that is important. You don’t want to pinch pennies and spend $10,000 and it looks like you spent $5,000.

How do we avoid this?

• Sit down with someone who is NOT affiliated with your family or friends so that they can tell you the truth about your wedding. Family and friends will sugarcoat things for you and make you think the impossible is just a hope and a wish away. Just so you know, hopes and wishes are for Disney movies, not wedding planning. Most wedding consultants offer a “get me started” package or consulting at the hourly rate. We offer so much more than just coordination packages–look for someone who offers budget and expense advising, decor design, etc. I think this is very important because as you can see, I pretty much shoot from the hip. And that’s what I’m paid to do– only Cinderella was lucky enough to score a free fairy godmother.
• Make a priorities list–what is important to you? Is it photography? Great! If it is photography, make sure you have an adequate design/decor budget as well. What’s the point of having fantastic photography when the flower, setup and people just look plain tired.
  
• Be realistic with the guest list. Do you really need 300 people at your wedding? Especially if you are on a tight budget? You can do more for less people than you can struggling to feed the multitudes (Jesus said he’s only doing the loaves and the fishes thing once). And don’t try to cut corners by having the wrong type of reception at a certain time. You can’t have an hors d’oeuvres only reception at a dinner hour.

Get some help.

Go to wedding rehab.

You need to go through a reality detox program that will allow you to see what you have, work within those parameters and make it as perfect as it can be. But that is always the first step– acceptance 🙂

My two year old (featured top left), tells me that on a DAILY basis. I mean he watches Spiderman every day. All three of the movies some time.  And he’s right.  I think about that in context as my role as a mom, a wife, and of course, as a wedding planner.

I can see why brides and their moms really feel helpless or threatened when they hire a wedding planner.  We emerge on the scene as the all-knowing expert, and say “do this, do that”.

I don’t pretend to know everything.  I haven’t cornered the market on the wedding scene. As a matter of fact, no wedding professional does or has. Anyone that tells you any different is lying to you and should be slapped.

We’ve got the most important day of two families’ lives in our hands.  That’s the best part of the job, and the most stressful part of the job.  I never take that for granted– which is why none of our weddings look the same. One thing that they all have in common is that they get the same attentive service and attention to detail.  I can’t stress enough how important it is for all of your vendors to work well together so that they communicate as efficiently as possible on the day of the wedding. I tell EVERYONE in my first consults or conversations, I hate surprises (for weddings).  Surprises are for birthday parties at Chuck E. Cheese.  I don’t like anything sprung up on me but do have the ability to recover.  Your vendors should work well together both before and during the event.  Why?  Because their primary focus should be on you, their client. When their focus deviates from you to them showcasing their “thing”, it is, for lack of a better word, irresponsible.

So see, Peter Parker, Uncle Ben was right.

Today is special– I’ve got lots of veterans (Dad, husband gka Capt America, sister, bro-in-law, uncle, best friends, etc.) in my family.  Our Abby is married to a military man 🙂  I can appreciate the sacrifice that they give to our country– even in hard times.  My daughter even made a coloring book for veterans’ day, which I have to send to her daddy who is currently in Iraq.

Sometimes, I think I have the best, yet hardest job in the world.  Then I remember my family and those who have given the ultimate sacrifice.  I was going to go into the air force, but ran into some snags.  However, I decided to fight other terrorists (bridezillas, egotistical vendors, etc.) with other weapons of mass destruction (egos, attitudes, temporary wedding bi-polar disorder).

I always make sure I take extra special care of my military clients, because that is the least I can do.

So thank you to all the veterans, who regardless of their MOS do their part to keep us safe as a nation 🙂