So you’ve got some awesome body art, but don’t necessarily want to showcase it on your wedding day?  No worries, you’re not alone.  Or, perhaps you are one of those brides that wants their bridesmaids to cover up their tattoos (that is another blog post altogether…) There are several products out there for you to use.

Tattoo Camo— Includes a two part system:  Camouflage paste and setting powder.  It comes in six varying shades and also has a remover tonic to help you get the heavy make up off when you’re done.  Each tube of paste and setting powder kit is 34.95.

Tattoo Cover Up Kit This water and smudge proof kit consists of primer, lotions, makeup and other applicators needed to temporarily cover up your tattoo.  Retails at $23.95

Dermablend This is my all time favorite, because it truly works. You can find it online or at your local department store, and they will even work with you to find the right shade.  I have a tattoo on my back that is fairly large and I needed to cover it for when I was competing in pageants.  I had to actually get two shades to blend and match me perfectly, but it was so worth it!  It was water and smudge proof, which was fabulous.  I definitely recommend this if you have a lot of color or shading in your tattoo.

When covering up your tattoo, consider your reasons for doing so.  Once upon a time, you got the tattoo as an expression of individuality and creativity.  Are you embarrassed of it now?  Will your grandmother faint?  Will your future mother-in-law silently implode?  Make sure you are doing it for all the right reasons so that you will not resent having to do it!

Photo from Flickr ::  Tracie Taylor Photography

This year, I have noticed that many of you may be experiencing problems with the most important woman in your guy’s life besides you.  Yes.  His mama.  I can’t imagine how I will feel or act when my sons choose to marry; but gratefully, they will never meet a woman that is perfect enough to meet my standards and endure the rigorous obstacle course and Survivor-like challenges that I am already thinking up for her.  (FYI, my sons are 3 and 1).  

I’m just kidding.  Sorta.  Kinda.  Ok, well, not really.

When I work with couples for such a long time, it really breaks my heart to see the different changes they go through at the hands of the mothers.  Some moms (on both sides, no less)have a little trouble coming to grips with the fact that their little baby will have a new number one person in their life.  Others…for whatever reason, have their own opinions and will stop at nothing to make you and your family complete uncomfortable.  Truth be told, from what I have observed, most mothers really don’t know that they are doing some of the things that are driving you insane.  But there are others that know exactly what they are doing.  I have seen everything from mothers dropping the name and memories of ex-girlfriends at rehearsal dinner or wedding speeches to trying to upstage the bride on her wedding day to refusing to even be photographed with her or stay for the reception. 

It happens.

You usually get a glimpse during the planning period.  While this may give you pause to truly consider if this is a family you want to marry into, you will soon find that your man makes it worthwhile….as long as you only have to talk to “her” once a year.  However, how you choose to handle the little challenges during your planning will preface the relationship you will have with her, and vicariously the rest of his family at the start of your marriage.  This is important because there will be many Thanksgivings, Christmases and dear God, babies(!!) that will follow after your wedding day.  Here are some tips to deal:

1. Be realistic—  Try to see things from her point of view, which will be hard, but it will help you with your plan B in your method of dealing with the madness.  Try to decide if something that she is doing, saying, something, etc. is out of sheer meanness, jealousy or ambivalence.  Then, decide if it is something you can live with her having or doing (for example, she wants his sisters in the bridal party or she wants a huge family portrait of her family done by the photographer after the ceremony) or if it is something that you can compromise with.
2.  Avoid being bratty— We know it’s your wedding day, but it is still a special day for her and her son too.  Try not to pivot all of your objections on the “But it’s my wedding!” argument or fall on your sword too often.  When you compromise, compromise fairly. 
3. Remember, your honey is in the middle—  He is seriously between a rock and hard place, and will get it from all sides if he doesn’t do exactly what either of you want.  However, his mother is his responsibility, and he should be the first person to let her know that her behavior is unacceptable (if it truly is). 
4. Communicate openly, and honestly—  If email is the best way for you to express yourself,
5. SOS— if she, or even you, aren’t dealing with a full deck at the time of a predicament, it’s best that you two not even communicate.  Use an intermediary.  If your fiance isn’t making much leeway, ask your mother for help, if you feel she can be unbiased (or at least give the appearance).  She will be able to argue your case, as well as appeal as another mother.

If all else fails, put her in the “igg box”.  Designate some friends or family play wedding bouncer and keep you away from any drama on the wedding day.  They can instantly scoop you away to “a very pressing matter”.  Enjoy your day– even though it is about the merging of two families, it is also the celebration of the love of two people.  Keep your eyes on the prize and you’ll make it through!

:: Photo Source ::

I really wish the glossies would do an article on how to effectively hold an initial communication or consult with wedding vendors.  Especially those wedding vendors that reside here on Planet Earth.  Firstly, the questions they encourage couples to ask vendors are completely out of left field, and really have nothing to do with your wedding.  So much so, that a lot of my wedding planner friends have generated an autoresponder or pre-formatted information sheets with answers to these questions (Is this your full time job, what were you before you became a wedding planner, what is your sign, do you like dogs and other such nonsense). 

One thing that needs to be firmly addressed is the subject of budgets in the first consult.  Most couples think if they say “Oh, we don’t have a budget!” that we will jump at the chance of doing your wedding because it is Platinum Wedding status. 

Instead, it sends up red flags and causes us to give our “Thanks, but no thanks” for that Bridge to Wedding Nowhere concession speech.  It actually sends the opposite message.  Even though couples are thrown into a new world wrapped in satin, buttercream and french lace, there are enough resources that will allow you to estimate pricing for your wants vs your needs.  Most couples think if they give us a certain budget,  and it’s too “small”, we won’t work with you or we will think lowly of you.  That could not be further from the truth.

When you lie or embellish about your budget it only wastes time for all of us.  Your planner will spend time researching and showing you options that you know you can’t afford and have no intentions of buying.  But the problem is that you knew from the very beginning that there is an amount you wish not to go over. 

I give this example to my clients:

Let’s say we are going shopping (ooh, goodie!).  Today, we decide that we will shop for a pair of boots for an upcoming party.  You already know that you don’t want to spend over $200 for your complete outfit– dress, boots, accessories, makeup, etc.  The problem is that you don’t tell the sales woman that.  So, she steadily brings out pair after pair of gorgeous leather footwear that cost more than your entire budget. Thirty minutes into your shopping experience, you’re frustrated and you’re nowhere, as you’ve seen every boot in the store.  The entire store was out of your budget.  Rewind this back a little– say you had walked into the store and asked to see all the boots between $50 and $100 in a specific color.  The sales person could tell you they don’t have anything in your budget and direct you to a store that does, or they could show you something in that price range. 

So, before approaching any vendors, set a concrete budget.  Allow yourself some wiggle room on either side.  As in the example above, it will help your vendors assist you in a more helpful and efficient manner. If they cannot personally help you, they can direct you to another vendor that can.