More often than not, almost every bride at some point complains that her groom isn’t doing “enough” to assist with the wedding planning. Depending on her scale of sanity, these expectations can be range from realistic to insane. For those ladies who have been “blessed” with a Groomzilla, this isn’t for you. It could be that he doesn’t know how to help or where to begin, or he recognizes your infinite wisdom and believes you have it all under control.
Remember, this is a totally new territory for your guy. Your dad, God bless him, has a slight edge in that he’s already done this. He’s experience it from a different vantage point, but he can recall everything involved. Your man, however, has been thrust into a world filled with lace, glossy bridal magazines, linen samples, and other bridal atrocities that make me want to go off to the deep end. Long gone are the days shooting pool with the guys or reading his kindle. His life is now consumed with wedding planning, and he really wants a bailout.
Honey, I’ve been married for ten years and I will tell you three things that a man will always be interested in: food, fashion and fun. These vary on the scale of importance to each man, but you know your guy…where does his interests lie? No matter the case for what can appear as his lack of enthusiasm, we’ll help you get through it:
Food: The old adage says the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Very true. If your guy is a health nut, foodie, or just loves to veg overall, let him take the steering wheel with the food. Don’t worry, he won’t make any bad decisions (he’s got you, after all, right?), but in the very off chance he seems to be deviating from the course, gently guide him back or offer him one of his outstanding ideas he hasn’t thought of yet (i.e., make him think he came up with it). For example, if your guy says at the catering consult that he just wants burgers and fries (trust me, it happens)—tell him that’s a fantastic idea and come up with some gourmet sliders and fresh cut fried potatoes for the cocktail hour or as a snack at your after party. What ever his likes are, find a way to incorporate them.
Fashion: While some guys are perfectly fine with a pair of shorts or old jeans and flip flops, your guy is meticulous about his looks right down to the hair on his head. Call around to tuxedo retailers and get catalogs for you to give to him. Listen as he gives his thoughts. Look through ads and shows of his favorite designers. What are some of his signature styles? Does he always wear a scarf or argyle socks? Make that mesh with the wedding look! Let him take the lead and watch him get completely enthralled with planning.
Fun: What does he like to do for fun? What do you two enjoy doing together? Is there any way that can be scaled up or down and integrated into your wedding? Let him handle the band or DJ—including the musical selections, setup, etc. Inspire other great ideas like a miniature golf set up if yours is a casual fun affair or even an interactive Wii station as the night goes on. Whether it’s music, games, lighting or a combo of the three—he’ll be game.
:: Photo by fOtOdOjO