Hello Luxelings,

This will be my final New Rule Friday for a while (please, no rioting in the streets). I am exploring some other series that will on the Fabuluxe blog, but you can be sure some New Rule-isms will make their way into them.

But, cue the processional music and the new rules begin!

New Rule: Delegating only works when you have intelligent people helping you. Having your illiterate cousin help you pick the wording for your invitations is the equivalent of having Pamela Anderson as your marriage counselor. Somehow, I don’t really think that “We want y’all there when Jane finally murries her baby daddy” is proper etiquette. It looks like one of the LOL Cats wrote your invites.

New Rule: I get that Aunt Mamie’s food is good at Thanksgiving and Christmas. How the woman manages to serve trough upon trough of food is beyond me. However, when her food has to be served with Lipitor dinner mints, it may not be the route to go for your reception. Her arteries look like New York traffic at rush hour, but for whatever reason, you want her to cater your wedding. You know the old saying…”she put her foot in it”? Yeah, well I wouldn’t put it past her.

New Rule: Invest in GOOD makeup for your wedding day. Has anyone ever told you that you’ll only get to do this day once? That being said, let’s ditch the Wet n Wild eyeliner and lipstick! Don’t give me the excuse that you don’t really wear makeup so it doesn’t matter. YES, it does! Stop using the cheap stuff– otherwise, your children will look at your wedding pictures and wonder who walked on your face with cleats.

New Rule: “Do not try this at home” will be a disclaimer on every high end wedding program. Your vendors are looking at you like you smoke crack because you want us to fit this 3.5 million dollar wedding you saw on TV into your itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini budget. DIY is a blessing and a curse. If you failed art in school, you should not be making ANYTHING for your wedding. And stop trying to get your family and friends to help you do your bouquets, make your centerpieces, linens, etc. This isn’t a wedding sweatshop. Think of it like this– what’s on TV is the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center. What you came up with is a Charlie Brown Christmas tree.

And for old time’s sake:

New Rule: YES, you have to pay your vendors prior to the wedding. It’s show biz, kid. You pay for a movie before you watch it, right? Before you rock hard with The Black Eyed Peas or Nickelback, you pay, right? Same thing with your caterer, photographer, florist, and even the wedding planner. Nope, you can’t pay at the rehearsal. No, you can’t pay the day of. Why? Because when any and everything goes wrong, who do you think will be blamed? That’s right, the wedding planner. It rained today…let’s blame the wedding planner. My make up is ugly…let’s blame the wedding planner. There is a mortgage crisis…let’s blame the wedding planner. Don’t even try to get around this one. I’m like George Bush– I don’t negotiate with terrorists.

Enough said.

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