They tried to make you go to rehab and you won’t go, go, go.

But I just get so confused with couples who come in and say, “We’ve got ten thousand dollars– let’s stretch it to the limit so that all 250 of our guests are eating vienna sausages!”

Say it with enthusiasm, now!

You need balance. You need order. Let’s ponder this, shall we:

• Why have the reception site of your dreams when you don’t have enough money to even scantly decorate it with flowers, linens, candles, etc?
• Why invite two thousand (ok, I’m exaggerating) of your closest family and friends, when you have to serve them the wedding equivalent of a happy meal?
• Why get a really great photographer when you can get someone who charges less and brings airbrushed backgrounds for all of our portraits?

A lot of what I say shows my humor, but a lot of truth is said in jest. It is very okay to be a budget bride. Heck even now, $10,000 is a “budget” wedding–$20,000 is slowly creeping to be the same. It is what you do with that money that is important. You don’t want to pinch pennies and spend $10,000 and it looks like you spent $5,000.

How do we avoid this?

• Sit down with someone who is NOT affiliated with your family or friends so that they can tell you the truth about your wedding. Family and friends will sugarcoat things for you and make you think the impossible is just a hope and a wish away. Just so you know, hopes and wishes are for Disney movies, not wedding planning. Most wedding consultants offer a “get me started” package or consulting at the hourly rate. We offer so much more than just coordination packages–look for someone who offers budget and expense advising, decor design, etc. I think this is very important because as you can see, I pretty much shoot from the hip. And that’s what I’m paid to do– only Cinderella was lucky enough to score a free fairy godmother.
• Make a priorities list–what is important to you? Is it photography? Great! If it is photography, make sure you have an adequate design/decor budget as well. What’s the point of having fantastic photography when the flower, setup and people just look plain tired.
  
• Be realistic with the guest list. Do you really need 300 people at your wedding? Especially if you are on a tight budget? You can do more for less people than you can struggling to feed the multitudes (Jesus said he’s only doing the loaves and the fishes thing once). And don’t try to cut corners by having the wrong type of reception at a certain time. You can’t have an hors d’oeuvres only reception at a dinner hour.

Get some help.

Go to wedding rehab.

You need to go through a reality detox program that will allow you to see what you have, work within those parameters and make it as perfect as it can be. But that is always the first step– acceptance 🙂