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Why I Won’t Hire You…

 

A lot of my blog and pro friends have written about this– about how to apply, or inquire about a position with a wedding planner. I never ever ever in the history of fabulousness thought I would have to write something like this… but here it goes (and of course, I write with all the Terricaisms that bring you joy, luxelings).

 

So…Why I won’t hire you:

 

1.)You use my contact form. You are not a client. You are not a prospect. You are not getting married. Why are you using the contact form? It would be awfully nice if you took the time to research to see if I had an employment page, an HR email or the like.

 

2.)Your FIRST communication with me is poorly written. If your email looks like one of the LOLCats wrote it, it ends up in my trash bin. Period. I can teach you the ways of a wedding planner. I do not, however, teach grammar, spelling or English. This is an internship. Not an early literacy program.

 

3.)Your first communication with me is your resume…and ONLY your resume. Honey, that’s just rude. This shows me immediately that you have no imagination and personality. Sure, I have enough for both of us, but I don’t want to share. It’s BYOP.

 

4.)Three letters: T.M.I. I don’t care to know about where you were last night, who you were with and what you were doing. I’m not your girlfriend. I don’t want to hear about or see (two words My Space…Yes, I check it!) how plastered you were for spring break. If I can google you and find you in a bikini or some other compromising position– trust and believe that my clients can too. NEXT.

 

5.)You call me and the first words out of your mouth are: “Are you hiring?” Again, rude. Even if I was, I wouldn’t tell you. Not the way to apply. You have to wow me, sell me, make me love you. Playing 20 questions is not the way to do it.

 

6.)You know nothing about me or my company. If you can’t tell me anything about my business, how can you tell my clients? Do your research. I’m not asking for a book report, but at least show me that you can fit in as opposed to blindly sending out your resume.

 

7.) You tell me this is your DREAM. I hate this. I’m not looking for dreamers. I’m looking for someone who can work hard, laugh hard, and make it happen. You want romance and happy flowers, get a Disney movie.

 

8.) You’re a wimp. (Couldn’t really find a better way to word it, sorry). Let me put it like this: On the outside, you see the beautiful bride, handsome groom, proud parents happy guests…good food, awesome music, beautiful decor, and gorgeous venue. The inside: timelines, 12 hour work days, climbing stairs, ladders, putting floors together, moving tables, bustling dresses, crying flower girls, unpaid vendors, bridesmaids, drunk groomsmen, tired feet, and that’s only the half of it. If you’re worn out just reading that, we need not go any further. Just stick to the blog.

 

9.) You have no sense of style or decorum. I sell style. Plain and simple. I sell style and security. When we meet, I need to see how you would meet with my clients and vendors. So yes, honey, I’m checking you out: your clothes, your hair, your makeup, your accessories….all of it. Do your clothes fit properly? No bulges, pulling buttons, tight clothes, cleavage, etc. How well are you put together? Do you look like you stepped out of a magazine, or that you should be hit with one? Have you come professionally dressed or could I mistake you for hanging out at the mall with your friends? Are you personable adn witty?  Are you shy and reserved? Are you crass and loud?  First impressions are not just everything, they are the ONLY THING.

 

10.) You think you can do it because you saw it on TV or planned your own wedding. I’m not looking for a human TiVo machine. I don’t need you to spew every line from The Wedding Planner or the hottest new wedding show. That’s like you going on a medical rotation and telling the doctors about what you saw on Grey’s Anatomy. I’m glad you’ve planned your wedding. It was fun, wasn’t it? Now do 12 simultaneously! (Why are you crying????) Realize that you have to bring something to the table, as well as being ready to learn and do some grunt work.

Here are some other great reads:

Saundra of Planning Forever Events

Liene of Blue Orchid Designs

 

That being said– Yes! We have internships open! Do you have what it takes to apply?

 {Photos:  Cartoon Stock, Good Old, resp.}