Posts Tagged ‘advice’

There is nothing like a perfectly executed wedding—seriously, there’s nothing like it.  Everything just flows.  Why does everything flow? Well, look, it’s easy.  I’ll show you:

 

1.  The photographers show up and work with ease knowing the flow of events, allowing them to transition easy and comfortably, resulting in stunning shots.

2.  The DJ/Band, without distraction, can take time to read the crowd and build a plan to keep the party all night.

3.  Your caterer is free to prepare your food, thoughtfully with each guest in mind.

 

What typically happens is that a bride decides to rely on other vendors to fulfill the capacity of another wedding professional.  Most don’t mind.  However, after speaking to many florists, caterers and photographers last week, I will tell you that each and every one said that it takes away from their work.  You didn’t hire this award-winning wedding photojournalist whose fashionable style is to die for to come and pin on boutonnieres or build your timeline.  The same goes for your caterer and DJ.  While they can assist you, they are there to do one job and do it flawlessly, successfully  and basically—the job you hired them for.  Any wedding pro will tell you, that they don’t mind helping, but they absolutely love when they can show up and do what they’ve been paid to do.  It means it is one less shot they didn’t miss, one more song that could’ve been played or flawless service provided by the catering staff.

 

The moral of the story:  get a wedding planner, or at the very least, a month of coordinator.

It’s pretty well known that the party cannot start at the wedding without the bride and groom.  Your caterer will ask if they can serve your guests if you are not around or if they should extend the cocktail hour.  if you plan on taking photos during your cocktail hour, discuss with your planner and photographer the amount of time needed to complete these expeditiously so that your guests are not kept waiting.  This is especially true if you have a wedding during a very hot or cold season or with little entertainment during the hour.  If you take too long, you run the risk of running out of food, or running up your bar tab (when people are bored or nervous, they eat and drink). 

One of the biggest questions couples face today is whether or not to see each other prior to the ceremony.  I, as a die-hard romantic, felt like there was something magical about the groom’s face as he sees his bride ascend up the aisle for the first time.  That being said, I understood my brides’ concerns and desires to not see their grooms before walking up the aisle. 

Then there was Caryn—gorgeous, smart, and dare I say it, practical.  Caryn decided she would  see her groom prior to the ceremony.  As we built the timeline for them to secretly meet at Jekyll Island’s historic Villa Mariana, I crossed my fingers that the we could keep it private, intimate and magical.  Since Caryn and Jonathan’s wedding was at the Jekyll Island Club’s Crane Cottage, the Spanish Colonial, Villa Mariana was the perfect getaway that was close by.  Caryn described it as one of the most beautiful moments of her life.  She walked up behind Jonathan, put her hand on his shoulder and he emotionally turned around, visually took her in and swept her into a long embrace. 

It doesn’t get much better than that.

And the pictures prove it:

 

jekyll island wedding

 

jekyll island wedding

jekyll island wedding

jekyll island wedding

C and J hold hands

jekyll island wedding

Jekyll Club Wedding

       Jekyll Island Wedding

 

These moments, captured by the illustrious Scarlett Lillian just go to show that the same intimacy and magic you wish to capture at that moment going up the aisle, can still be present at a first meet.  Can’t you sense the anticipation and tingling in your toes when you see Jonathan’s back to Caryn?  You can almost feel his heart racing and see his unrelenting smile as the seconds tick away until that slight touch on his shoulder.  Imagine how he felt at that moment—not having to share Caryn’s beauty, that moment, that love—with anyone else.  It was theirs, and theirs alone.  Time had stopped.  (well, for them. The wedding planner was hard at work :) )  Linens didn’t matter, the bar tab didn’t matter.  What mattered was that the most important person in their lives were together.  And in love.  Not only does it save you a lot of time during your cocktail hour, but it also gives you private moments that you may not have again until the end of the evening.

Still not convinced?  Check out what event engineer Saundra Hadley has to say, as well as photographer Jennifer Stone’s thoughts.  Either way, it is your moment…whether you spend it at a “first moment” or going up the aisle.  I know you’ll make it fabulous.

 

PS—The ceremony for Caryn and Jonathan was just as emotional.  I bawled the whole time. I know….Crybaby Wedding Planner. But I’m still awesome.

…Or “Tips for  a Successful Wedding Rehearsal”

Planning your wedding with its intricate details can all be for naught if it falls to pieces when being run through your “dry run”.  Your wedding rehearsal allows you to get yourself, bridal party and necessary vendors acquainted with what you plan to do for your wedding.  At the worst of times however, a wedding rehearsal can be stressful for some brides and  like herding cats. 

Even if you are working with a wedding planner, here are some tips that will make your wedding rehearsal run smoothly and efficiently:

Tell your participants to arrive 15-30 minutes prior to the “real” start time. Depending on the complexity of your ceremony and size of your bridal party, your rehearsal should last anywhere between 30-60 minutes.  Nothing is worse than being in the middle of the rehearsal, and finding out that your bridesmaid isn’t there.  Give yourself some cushion time so that even if people arrive late, they are still on time to get the rehearsal started.

If possible, rehearse where your wedding will be. If your wedding is outside, rehearse at the ceremony site.  Only use a second location as your worse case scenario.  If you have to have a backup for your ceremony, make sure everyone knows where it is and if any changes must be made in order to have the ceremony there.

Have everyone that is participating in the ceremony at the rehearsal. This includes all readers, soloists, members of the bridal party, grandparents, etc.  Again, you cannot have a successful rehearsal if people are missing.  Moreover, be sure to walk though with all mothers and grandmothers and their escorts so that they know where to be, walk and sit prior to the ceremony. People will be able to confidently perform their duties when they’ve had an opportunity to practice them first.

Have a partial setup for prosperity.  If you are having large arrangements, tables for a unity ceremony as well as seating.  If you have a special entrance, rituals or layout, it is much more helpful to have some of these items in place to assist for good practice.

Meet your bridal party the night before or earlier in the day before the rehearsal.  Also, do not invite non-participants to the rehearsal.  This is another way that your rehearsal can double in time.  People will want to meet and greet, reunite and hang out at the rehearsal.  Because everyone is so excited and being social, it is much harder to get everyone to do what they are supposed to.  Meeting for lunch, tea, beer, or whatever, helps everyone to come ready to rehearse and comfortable with the rest of the bridal party.  Likewise, avoid having non-participants congregating at the rehearsal for similar reasons.  They will want pictures, hugs, and conversations and while this is fine, it is not the place for the rehearsal.  Ultimately, it could cause you to run over your time at the rehearsal and into your time for the rehearsal dinner. 

 

All of these tips will help you have a successful rehearsal and avoid the many pitfalls and time wasting activities that can draw out the process. 

One Wed Wedding Pre Party

 

Brides and vendors come and join us!

See our post to learn more about the great new concept that will bring together the best of social networking to help you plan your wedding!

Be sure to RSVP!

 

Planning your wedding can be fun, exhausting, exhilarating, stressful, exciting and frustrating. Here are 20 tips that you should never do whilst planning the party of the year.

 

1.)  Never book any venue without seeing it.  My only exception to this is if you have a wedding planner working your behalf and doing the scouting for you. 

2.)  Never  work with any  vendor without a contract.   Ever.  This includes Aunt Jan and Uncle Marty.  Contracts put everyone’s expectations and obligations on paper. 

3.)  Never start planning or interviewing vendors without a budget.  You will waste your time and the time  of the vendors you meet. Whenever a potential client says “There is no budget” or something similar, they are not impressed. The red flags go up.

4.) Never start your wedding planning in the “middle”.  In other words, start at the beginning and work your way down with tasks and duties.  Find a planning timeline to help you figure out where you should be in your planning process.  Don’t start designing your floor plan when you haven’t chosen a venue. 

5.)  Never be afraid to speak up with your vendors. If you have questions or concerns, ask while changes can still be made as opposed to being stuck with something you will regret on your wedding day.

6.) Never take your family and friends for granted. Using the “But it’s my wedding” carte blanche will get very old, very fast.  Your bridesmaids and groomsmen will spend a small fortune to participate in your day.  Please treat them nicely. 

7.)  Never believe anything you see on the wedding shows.  Ever.

8.)  Never choose a dress under the condition you will lose weight to fit in it later. Stress eating is a huge monster during wedding planning. It is easier to take a dress in than it is to let it out.

9.)  Never forget what you are planning for—your wedding, which is the birth of your marriage. I encourage you to plaster pictures all over your planning binder of you and your honey. That is your motivation.

10.)  Never pick a vendor that has poor communication skills or makes you feel silly, “cheap”, "spoiled, or otherwise about your choices. Period.

11.)  Never put your registry information on or with your invitation.  Times may have changed and “some” etiquette rules can be bent. I don’t feel this is one of them. You do not want people to feel like there is a cover charge for your wedding.  This information needs to be sent word of mouth, on your wedding website/newsletter or with your bridal/couple shower invite.

12.) Never choose a photographer with your budget solely in mind.  This is the only thing that will preserve your memories for your special day.   Please choose someone with style, talent and charisma so that you can remember your day fifty years from now as if it were yesterday.

13.)  Never go to your  catering tasting starving.   Everything will taste good.  You need to be discerning with mingling flavors and scents…and be able to appreciate them.

14.) Never go to your florist without a concept. There are several breeds of roses, lilies, and orchids.  Your floral designer will be more than happy to provide you with inspiration, guidance and ideas, but you need to know where the destination is before you get in the car. 

15.) Never assume a vendor’s “retainer” is the same as a deposit.  A deposit is refundable.  A retainer is not.

16.)  Never think you will be able to make everyone happy with your decisions.  Don’t try to make them all angry either.  Ask for ideas, and find ways to incorporate everyone into the wedding. Nothing will make your FMIL beam brighter than to point at something and say "I picked that!”

17.)  Never try to micromanage your day while wearing the gown.  The day will be a blur anyway,  it will go by so much faster (and harder) if you are playing the starring role and the director.  Enjoy your day.  Save your sanity.  Please get a wedding coordinator.  If you do, let her/him do her/his job.

18.) Never withhold the final payment from a vendor with the belief that this will pressure them to show up.  If you have chosen to hire professionals for your wedding, this will never be an issue. The wedding industry thrives on reputation, and several vendors have reputations that precede them.  Many have the philosophy if you do not pay them on the due date, they will not be there, and you will be without the vendor anyway.

19.)  Never lose sight of the fact that you will have several hundred people at your wedding with different tastes and likes.  While you cannot make them all happy, as a host, it is your job to make it enjoyable and comfortable.  Remember this when it comes to design, location and food.

20.)  Never  forget to read this blog. (ok, I was really running low. Shameless plug over).

:: Photo Michal Zacharzewski

The Mansion at Forsyth in Savannah, Georgia

Welcome back!

Last week, we talked about the first of the five tips for a great wedding venue visit.  This week, we’ll round up our last bit of tips that will help you choose a wedding reception or wedding ceremony location with ease and confidence. 

  1. Become a complete space cadet.  One of the most important features that makes your potential site a viable choice is its ability to accommodate all of your guests.  You will want to inquire into how many guests can comfortably fit at the venue, because size matters.  Can you have the ceremony and reception at the same place?  Are there options for inclement weather?  If there are tenting options  for outdoor weddings due to space or weather concerns, how much extra is this option in addition to the costs of the rental?  Some venues will require you to book an additional space as your backup—be prepared to factor this into your budget when comparing costs later.  If there are multiple rooms at the venue, ask how many other events are booked on your wedding day.
  2. Gain absolute clarity on the role of your “coordinator”.  Many venues erroneously give their on-site catering manager or coordinator the misnomer of “wedding coordinator”.  This gives most brides the impression that their “venue comes with a coordinator”.  In most cases, this is true and false, and causes much stress and frustration for those on-site coordinators who deal with questions that they cannot and should not deal with.  The coordinator is on hand to answer your questions in terms of your wedding ceremony and or reception, not the entirety of your wedding.  Some on-site coordinators do not stay at the wedding the entire time to execute or oversee, so these will be questions you will want answers to prior to booking your venue.  If their duties are limited, ask for recommendations for wedding coordinators that can work with you on a day-of-wedding level. 
  3. A matter of convenience. Since you and Mr. Fabuluxe know your guest list the best, consider your guests in your decision.  How large is the parking lot?  Is their a fee for valet parking?  How far is parking from the venue?  Take note of the number of restrooms  and their locations– compute if it will be convenient for your guests.  If there are only two stalls in the bathroom, your guests will spend more time in line than at the wedding reception.  If you have elderly or handicapped guests, make sure that the exits are easily accessible, with ramps, if necessary.  If your venue is a resort, ask if there is shuttle or cart service to get guests to the main hotel areas.   
  4. Is there room at the Inn?  Ask ahead if there is a changing or private room for you and your groomsmen if you will have your wedding ceremony there as well.  When planning your timeline, having an onsite room will be most convenient for you. If it doesn’t, it gives you notice to pad your travel time in the the wedding day timeline. This room could also be a perfect hideaway if you would like a private moment with your new husband in the midst of the festivities.
  5. Don’t Go Solo.  Have your fiance, maid/matron of honor, parents or wedding planner attend your venue visit with you. It is good to have a second opinion—especially if you are madly in love with a specific venue.  Another person’s point of view will help you see things you had not or considered.

 

eventvision101

At times, it is far easier to think about your details and their place in the grand scheme of things, rather than to be overwhelmed with all of them at once.  Instead of thinking of the entire reception, think of one table.  This is the only table that needs your attention, the only table that will convey your event’s personality

 

Close your eyes. 

 

Tell me about it.

 

What colors are on the table?  Are they deep and rich?  Soft and light?  Run your hand across the table—what textures do you feel?  Soft satin?  Crinkly bichon? How does the table make you feel?  What about your place setting and glasses?  Is it modern or traditional?  Eclectic or romantic?  Do you feel an ambient glow on your face?  Is it coming from small votives?  Thick pillars, or floating candles?

 

Take a whiff.

Which fragrant aromas are present? Open your eyes—what flowers are on your table? What do their containers look like?  Glass or silver vases? Tall, square or cylinder?  Low to the table?  What shape is your table—oblong or round? What about your chairs—are they casual or elegant? Think about a quiet dinner with your  love, and holding hands across this beautifully designed table. If the table was the only thing in the room, where would you feel that you were?  The key is to create an experience at each table for all guests to enjoy, and duplicate it for the remaining tables. You could choose to create a slightly different experience, by using different linens or centerpieces. 

 

Start small, scale up. 

oxycleanguy

I’m not the Oxy Clean guy.

There is never a “But WAIT!  There’s MORE!” moment with me.

There is no “but if you call right now, we’ll double the offer” moment.

Ever.

Just to clarify, I’m not this guy either:

I sell provide a service that includes my creativity and expertise. It does not consist of discounts.

While that’s not the “lie” that they told you outright, I feel that we should clear up a tragic misconception.  This misconception has been flagrant in the economic climate where the funds that were once set aside for your wedding have been diminished and depleted.  Everyone is looking to save money. I don’t blame you.

So, the thing that really molds my lip gloss is when the glossies and some blogs perpetuate the role of a wedding planner as a walking talking coupon code or Entertainment Book (remember how you had to sell those in school?).  I believe they say things like “A good wedding planner will save you money with her vendor relationships, who in turn will provide you with discounts”.

Oh, really? No. Not quite.

Let me tell you what a good wedding planner will do:

  • A good wedding planner will never publicly or privately purport to you that she can get you exorbitant discounts.  This is something that is never guaranteed.  Unless, she is discounting her own service and pricing.
  • A good wedding planner will save you money by matching you with vendors that fit against his/her stringent wedding budget and event vision criteria.  S/he already knows who to go to—s/he knows which vendors to go to for what it is you need that will be in your price range and maximize your dollar for your event vision. By doing the footwork of research, preliminary and sample orders for you, s/he has saved you time.  Which is almost the same as saving you money.
  • A good wedding planner will always pass along any professional courtesies to his/her clients and refrain from taking kickbacks or markups on the client’s order.
  • A good wedding planner understands that to get “the best deal” or price is relative to each particular client. The best “deal” may be a completely non-traditional workup of the menu that the caterer does not typically do, or a service or product upgrade.
  • A good wedding planner has worked years for his/her vendor relationships, and continues to do so; s/he does not violate, abuse, or manipulate them in such a casual manner,as some of the antiquated wedding advice columns perceive.  S/he knows, not only as a creative professional, but a business owner, the enumerable costs of overhead, taxes, staff salaries, etc. that factors into a vendor’s pricing.  S/he appreciates when discounts are given to her clients, but knows that they are always at the vendor’s discretion, and never guaranteed.

  • A good wedding planner will tell you this.

A good client will not rely on potential discounts, but can plan their wedding on a budget they can actually afford. They understand the “less is more” concept, understanding that if budget is truly an issue, the guest list may need to be cut, or the vision may need to be scaled back.

Check out other wedding planning myths you can’t afford to believe.

tips

One of the benefits of reading wedding blogs is that you get so much insight from fellow planners and brides.  I decided to ask some of the planners I think are outstanding to share a few of their favorite tips with Fabuluxe™ readers. Be sure to check them out, too!

“Hire vendors you trust, then let them do their jobs.”  Sara Bauleke • Bella Notte
“Start work on your seating assignments early as this becomes a MAJOR task as you get closer to the wedding…. when you make your guest list, purchase plain white, cheap paper plates and a pack of sticky notes…..write each guests name on a sticky note and arrange them in groups by family, friends or co workers around the paper plate about 8-10 on a plate ( as most 60” round banquet tables seat 8-10).”

Mark Kingsdorf • Queen of Hearts Weddings | BLOG

“Do you dread negotiating with vendors on their prices?  Wedding vendors need to support their lives too so most aren’t willing to drop their fees just because you ask.  The best way to get a good deal is to tell the vendor what amount you’re able to spend.  Then see how they can customize their services to fit your budget.  Perhaps the photographer will knock out the parent album that you don’t need anyway.  Maybe the DJ will leave the spinning club lights at home.  Or perhaps the caterer will suggest that you skip the mini dessert buffet and only serve wedding cake.  You may be surprised at how customized your vendors will make their packages in order to earn your business.” Laura Auer • Wish Special Events | BLOG
“Don’t get caught up in a particular shade of “pink” or “blue” when choosing your colors!  Different hues of a color will give your decor and overall wedding style that “designer” look.  Gone are the days of everything matching as well.  Bridesmaids dresses in gradient shades is a HAUTE look!”
Wendy Robinson • Sacred Moment Weddings | BLOG
“If you really want a unique wedding, stop looking for inspiration in wedding magazines.” Monica Gill •   The White Box | BLOG
“If having an outdoor ceremony, be considerate of your bridesmaids who may be wearing heals.  Consider purchasing them Solemates It keeps them from sinking into the grass.”  Latrice Cushenberry •  Bridal Opulence Weddings and Events | BLOG
“Keep all wedding related information in one place. Don’t have piles all over the house, and one at work, and one in the car, and don’t forget about the one that you have in the bathroom.  If you keep all of your wedding contracts, correspondence, emails, pages you’ve pulled out of magazines in one place, you will feel more organized. And if you need something, you will know exactly where it is. If your wedding consultant asks to see a copy of the contract, you know where it is – if you need to check the floral order, you know where it is.”

Melissa DiStefano •  MasterPiece Weddings | BLOG

“Consider a brunch reception if you are planning your wedding on a shoestring.”  Shanika Butts • SJB Weddings and Events | BLOG
“Add a line item to your budget for vendors that need to receive gratuities such as limo drivers, beauticians, etc. This can add up and it is so important to account for it at the beginning.”  Saundra Hadley • Planning…ForeverBLOG
“Make the timeline realistic and plan for all the activities you want. For instance, if you want to take pictures before the ceremony, please don’t ask the bridal party to show up only 2 hours before the ceremony, then say “If they’re late, then they won’t be in the pictures.”In reality you are going to WAIT for them because those are your friends or MOTHER,  and you really want them to be in the photos.  Plan accordingly to avoid any tardiness, tantrums and hurt feelings.”

Katasha Butler •  K.Sherrie + Co. | BLOG

Thank you to all of the planners that were so gracious with their time to participate. You all offered some wonderful tips and I know you will create more fabulous events in 2009.  Stay tuned for more tips from other wedding pros.

 

 

Hollister’s is typically used to adhere prosthetics to the body, but it has so many other glorious uses in the world of beauty and fashion. 

 

 

Remember this dress?

 

 

Yeah, well it wasn’t staying on by the grace of God, that’s for sure.

 

Now, while I can’t say for sure that J.Lo used Hollister’s specifically, I will say her stylists used something similar.  Use for extra security for strapless pads, halter dresses, or when you want straps to stay put.  My tips? Spray on to you—not your clothing.  Wait for it to dry and apply your clothing carefully.   For those heavy duty jobs, spray into a small cup and let it thicken.  Apply with Q-Tip or old makeup brush and follow the instructions above.  Whatever you do, just don’t think you’ll master it on the first try.  Be sure to give yourself practice.

 

When double sided tape isn’t enough—choose Hollister’s!

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