New Rule Friday
It’s New Rule Friday everybody! Let’s see what’s ruining the buttercream this week…
New Rule: Pick a favor someone cares about. No one really wants an itsy bitsy photo frame that doubled as a place card holder. People rarely print out their photos nowadays, let alone print a 1×3 inch photo to put in a frame you got from the dollar store.
New Rule: So not cool: picking a different meal for you and your new husband than that of your guests. Want a surefire way to start a riot? Having surf and turf for the bridal couple and chips and dip for everyone else.
New Rule: If you are going to let your uncle, aunt, or best friend’s mother’s sister’s baby’s father “gift” you with a wedding service like photography, baking the cake, etc., make sure they are a professional at what they are gifting. Having your mechanic uncle take your pictures is like having your lawn guy perform your appendectomy.
New Rule: 10+ people on each side is not a bridal party. It’s a marching band. No one truly wants to sit through a processional of 2.5 billion people before we get to the bride. Also, let’s quit with the R. Kelly “Step in the Name of Love” two-step up the aisle. Your bridal party looks like they’re doing the Cha Cha Slide to the altar. If you want to give them something special to do, let your friends and family be hostesses, ushers, readers or soloists.
New Rule: STOP ruining a good cake with columns and fountains. It’s CAKE — not an ode to ancient Roman architecture. The little Christmas light under the fountain of your cake, the stairs with the gazillion little dolls for the bridal party– what else do I need to say? 1983 called. It wants its wedding cake back. It’s dessert– not a piece of Barbie’s Dream Mansion.
New Rule: Let’s try to pick seasonal colors and flowers for your wedding theme. Lime green in December? No dice. Silver (and only silver) in June? Blech. Yeah, we REALLY believe you combed some Amazon forest and found a unique silver rose. (You should see how hard I’m rolling my eyes right now) If your flower is out of season, look for another one. Leave the “silk” flowers with the fake rain drops (read: glue drops) right there in the aisle of Dollar General where you found them. No one will ever believe they are real.
You did it again! These rock!
Love the new rules fridays! Great idea! Bill Maher is so classic (as are your new rules!) I’ll be back every Friday! Hope it’s okay, I blogged about your new rules today…
Perfectly fine, Harmony! I love your site 🙂 See you next Friday. I have noticed that they get progressively worse as each week passes 😈 *evil laugh*
😆 😆 Too funny!!!
TOO funny….love it! Especially the marching band!!
YOU MAKE MY FRIDAY!!! 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀
You are truly a riot!!! LOVE IT!
I am laughing my ass off!!!!
Yes, yes, and yes! Finally someone is taking these tacky brides to task! I love it. Keep ’em coming.
You gave me a side cramp -again! The cake column/doll show is, for some reason, still alive and going strong 😯 .
Now, everytime I go to a reception and see that type of cake, I’ll have to go to a corner and *guffaw*.
That’s tragic. And it should be a felony.
I love this post!!
Thank you for saying what I’ve been thinking for so long! Hilarious!
A colleague/friend found this blog before I saw it mentioned. She called me absolutely ROOOLLLLIING especially about the 300 guests and $10,000 because we were just talking about that. The cake columns and little people, priceless!!! You have taken many of my smart alec thoughts and recorded them with clarity and absolute hilarity. Thank You
Love the part about the little people on the stairways. I had a bride once ask me if I go make the stairways move like escalators. Bawhahaha. I still have a mental picture of them upside down for the return trip to the top of the staircase. Needless to say I didn’t do her cake.
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