New Rule Friday
I’m a HUGE fan of Bill Maher’s Real Time. I especially love the segment at the end of his show where he does his “New Rules“, a very blunt, albeit hilarious take on random news items. I sat listening to it on my iPod on the way to the airport, and thought– “I should so do a version of ‘New Rules'” for the blog. So each Friday will be “New Rule” Friday.
New Rule: Stop thinking you can invite 300 of your closest family and friends to your wedding on a $10,000 budget. The only place that will fit your budget is the McDonald’s playroom, catered by the redheaded clown himself.
New Rule: Your bridesmaids love you, but had no intention on becoming indentured servants. They really don’t want to do all 248 tasks on your to do list, no matter what the bridal magazines tell you.
New Rule: Stop lying to yourself saying you’re going to lose weight in order to fit into that dress. Wedding planning is stressful. When we get stressed, we eat. Or shop. You’re an 18. The dress is a 6. Don’t starve yourself until you look like a kid from one of the Christian Children’s Relief Fund commercials. the only way you’re going to get into that dress is if you wear it as a garter. Be proud of your curves! Get a dress that fits.
New Rule: Fondant is only good to people with burned off tastebuds. With all the different types of icings and buttercreams (Royal, French, American, Italian, Swiss, etc.), why wrap your cake in Play-Do?
New Rule: Stop telling people you’re having a destination wedding. Your wedding is in the next county. Taking the VFW and throwing on some Jimmy Buffet and putting rented palm trees in the corners is not a destination wedding.
New Rule: She’s not a flower girl if she’s 12. Your little cousin Susie may have been cute when she was 5. But that was like seven years ago. She’s a junior bridesmaid. Plain and simple. If she has a learner’s permit, she’s too old to carry a basket and drop petals.
New Rule: Balloon arches are for proms and car sales, NOT WEDDINGS. How do you equate elegance with expanded helium filled plastic?
Liene at Blue Orchid Designs
have I mentioned that I love you?
Oh Terrica…that’s hilarious!!!!! So right on!!! ; )
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This is a FREAKIN awesome! Wow, you hit the nail on the head with those rules. I heart you!
That was great!!!!!! I love the one about the fondant!!
OMGosh Terrica!! You are so funny, but every bit of it is true! I can’t wait to read again on Friday. 😆
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That is the best thing I have read all week! I heart you!!!! (and plus I spit my diet coke all over my keyboard!!!) This is going to be legend-wait-for-it-dary!!!!!
SO funny! That just made my day.
If only people really KNEW you….hahaha
These are great! But a nice wedding is possible on 10,000. I’m doing it! 😉
Oh Lisa, I’m not saying it’s not possible– I just have a problem with a 10K budget with a guest list of 2.5 million people.
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