Pregnancy Insomnia has me up late lately (like now), scouring the net looking for cribs, layettes, food, etc.  Of course, my mind always goes back in to wedding mode quite frequently. I pop in on a few blogs and message boards to see what real brides are talking about.  Not the ones from the magazines who have 2.5 million dollars to spend, but those who are really doing their best on balls and knuckles to pull off a fantastic event.

 Imagine my surprise horror, when I read post after post from brides about having a “Sponsored Wedding”.  Because I love you, I will share a few things with you…

1.  Sponsored Weddings Only Work for the TODAY Show.  Seriously. You may know a friend who knows a guy whose sister’s cousin’s uncle’s next door neighbor successfully pulled it off, but in this day and age, your chances are very slight. 

But Terrica, why?

 Think of it like this– it’s not that we (wedding vendors) don’t want to help you.  We may, if you explain your situation to us, discount our services deeply. But to give away time and energy pre-wedding and at times post-wedding for free can put a strain on our business and schedules.  Remember, we have to feed our families too. 

But Terrica, I’m offering you exposure to all of my guests, plus (I really read this somewhere) I will promote you after the wedding too!

Honey, no.  First of all, like attracts like.  If a vendor does your wedding for free, more likely than not, the caliber of guests that vendor is trying to attract is not going to be in your guest demographic. Your guests will expect that their weddings will be done for free, or deeply discounted.  It’s a vicious, nasty cycle. Moreover, let’s not kid ourselves with the latter part of that statement. With most brides, it’s “out of sight, out of mind” after the wedding (and that is okay!).  But certainly don’t obligate yourself to any vendor with a promise like that. It’s just not believeable.

Besides this is a solemn occasion. This is not some NASCAR event where you, your bridal party and reception venue are donning all of your sponsors on your apparel, place cards, etc. It’s just tacky.  No one wants to feel accosted or pressured at a family or social event.  (Think back to those timeshare meetings…) This is your wedding day.  It should be remembered and experienced for the romance, love and beauty for which it was intended.

Ok. Terrica. Then if you know it all, what do you suggest I do?

Aaaww. Glad you asked.  If cost is really an issue for you, consider scaling down. The number one place, of course, is your guest list.  Also change the time of your wedding; this of course will assist in change the food and alcohol you will need to have available to your guests.  With that being done, start searching Craigslist for vendors.  There are a lot of students and newbies in the industry who are looking to get experience and will work with you.  You may even be able to score a few for free.  Just don’t sacrifice the integrity of your wedding for it.